advantage card!

i got my qfc advantage card! they won't give me sale prices without it! whee!
i can sleep soundly knowing that now all the things i buy can be tracked via a barcode and compiled under my name, address, phone and email in the kroger corporation's databases! Soon i can expect consumer NEED based emails!

(warning: parody ahead! can be dangerous if used improperly.)

(Consumer 9835147A)
Dear Mr. Steffan Dontspamme Ziegler,

As a customer who has recently began purchasing OB Brand tampons, we thought your young teen consumer might also be interested in OB's great new young teen website featuring survivor star Elisabeth Filarski! We at QFC and OB realize that dealing with a budding young lady's questions and concerns as she approaches womanhood might be a bit much for a young father, and we thought you might appreciate a simple and direct site that can answer your teen's questions with clarity and with direct language and a new hip attitude! Check it out! it's great: http://www.obyou.com

Sincerely,

David T. Zuieger
Editor, Customer Relations
QFC Consumer Products Marketing