saint_monkey

"hello, service "X", how may i help you?"

(translation: how do i get you to go away as quickly as possible?)

"um yes, maybe you can...i'm not sure if i'm calling the right place, but.."

(translation: i have a minor crisis that i'd like to blow way out of proportion)

"i'll do my best...may i have your account /order/personal identifier?"

(i'll do only enough to get you off my phone as soon as possible)

"thanks! it's 'long series of random alpha numeric characters' "

(I'm just going to call back nine times about the same issue within the next hour anyhow, because i am unsatisfied with your resolution.)

"ah i see, the order/problem/service, is clearly completed/resolved/impossible to resolve/which should have been evident/could not be determined without significant effort/easily."

(this is the ninetieth time i have relayed this information today,)

"ah, i see, thank you."

(i do not understand and am preparing to call again, in hopes that your illogical and patently un customer driven system can be better deciphered by a different customer service drone with less of an attitude.)

"thanks for using service "X" and have a nice day!"

(you are incompetent)

"you too!"

(you too!)