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BOY AM I!!!
Jun. 12th, 2016 02:53 pm- Sun, 12:26: RT @b0ringtweets: Retweet if you're sitting down.
...and yet...
Feb. 4th, 2016 12:00 pm- Wed, 21:54: I have no plans at all to watch the super bowl. Bowling is not my thing really. I mean it's ok but there is too much math involved.
- Wed, 22:03: RT @YesThatGiraffe: It's too bad so many people are wrong about so many things. I wish I could help them all, but most seem to like it that way
- Thu, 09:36: RT @UberFacts: The filling you find between a Kit Kat's wafers consists solely of mashed up, defective Kit Kats.
- Thu, 09:41: RT @kumailn: Trump got hit by the blue shell in Mario Kart.
RIP David Bowie
Jan. 11th, 2016 12:01 pm...and the stars look very different, today...
- Sun, 23:27: RT @DrMatthewSweet: Good lord. He was saying goodbye and we never knew it.
(no subject)
Jan. 9th, 2016 07:50 pm- Sat, 19:37: I would not be surprised to learn that Country music is just an elaborate prank that's been played on me my whole life.
- Sat, 19:47: RT @A_single_bear: I tripped. I'm okay. I am a bear.
Los Angeles
Nov. 16th, 2015 12:00 pm- Sun, 14:19: RT @latimes: A Los Angeles we haven't seen in a long time -- comes back to life https://t.co/vWrzSC59eo https://t.co/bh804SfUrp
lost and found
Oct. 8th, 2015 12:00 pm- Thu, 08:45: RT @BenjaminEPark: From BYU's police beat. I'm pretty sure this means the students won. http://t.co/IlqTJAkhJ4
Device life
Oct. 1st, 2015 12:00 pm- Wed, 18:21: RT @searls: Just realized I ask myself "how's my battery life?" way more often than I ask "how's my actual life?" 👌🔋
...also, why is it that *every* screenshot of a smart phone on Facebook shows a phone with like 5% battery life?
Carbon Offsets
Sep. 28th, 2015 12:00 pm- Sun, 22:55: RT @ChuckBaggett: 5 Ways to Live A Greener Life 1. Green paint 2. Green clothes dye 3. Don't mow grass 4. Asparagus 5. Green food coloring …
I got yer waffle, right here.
Sep. 25th, 2015 12:00 pm- Fri, 08:13: RT @BoingBoing: Costco shopper, 78, punched in fight over free Nutella waffle sample. http://t.co/nWj84WWnDK http://t.co/QdxL0jqB9a
I know better than to go on the weekends, a pig-in-a-blanket is not worth losing a digit.
- Sun, 11:38: RT @BoingBoing: Add butane to a bottle of Coke, get a totally unsafe high-powered bottle rocket http://t.co/MxdSuQXKPq http://t.co/H1O4Zx4q…
- Sun, 11:40: RT @A_single_bear: I want something yet I am not sure exactly what but I might be willing to exhaust all my energy to pursue getting it and maybe it is leaves?
Here's your capitalism, comrade... served back to you with butane!
why, indeed?
Aug. 30th, 2015 12:00 pm- Sat, 14:39: RT @Netherlanders: Why is American healthcare so retarded
Because if it wasn't, "Breaking Bad" would have been a 5 minute YouTube clip...
well, that worked out well...
Aug. 12th, 2015 12:00 pm- Wed, 08:53: RT @amconmag: Trump's support is an expression of a desire for a superweapon that will blow up the current political deadlock. http://t.co/…
Trash for Trash
Aug. 1st, 2015 12:00 pm- Fri, 12:34: Twitter just auto-played a One Direction video so I had to go outside and knock over my neighbor's trash can. #ActionsHaveConsequences
- Sat, 08:01: RT @StephenKing: How about a novel featuring a man who's always late? Thinking of calling it GO SET YOUR WATCH, MAN.
Use "the Joker", Luke
Jul. 31st, 2015 12:00 pm- Thu, 19:18: RT @A_single_bear: It is a good night to accidentally knock over trash cans and lick empty containers of yogurt. Remember to share with others doing the same.
- Thu, 19:18: RT @veorq: New car hacking trick discovered, hundreds of models affected! http://t.co/QEPDjOLLGY
- Fri, 08:28: RT @Rollinintheseat: *Luke Skywalker resetting his password* "Enter new password." TheForce "You have already used TheForce."
Pigeon problems
Jul. 27th, 2015 12:00 pm- Mon, 08:18: I saw this pigeon peck a piece of bread and then it stuck to his beak and he was all whipping his head like willow smith. #pigeonproblems
For Pistachio? 3:15 AM.
Jul. 21st, 2015 12:00 pm- Mon, 22:50: When is it too late at night to eat pistachio ice cream? #AskingForAFriend #AReallyNiceFriendThatYouShouldntJudge
- Mon, 23:02: RT @sweden: As we say in #Sweden: summer is the best day of the year.
...this is a tale of gross excess on many levels. And those details are hard to fake...
- Sat, 09:48: RT @LettersOfNote: Hunter S Thompson, born 78yrs ago today, attempting to justify his Fear & Loathing expenses in a letter to his editor
