Right Side Steps are Coming Down

The San Francisco Muni Line has this staticky, intermittent speaker system that distorts and twists the announcements in subtle ways. This has the effect of making the signs above the subway doors, which indicate the stops and their orders, somewhat useless, as the distorted alternate reality versions of the stops that come from the speakers are quite different from the actual station names.

So, in case you are visiting in San Francisco, here is a translation. The actual station name is first, and then the alternate reality version that comes from the speakers. I recommend that these be printed and placed in your city map.

Castro = Astral
Church = Search
Van Ness = Vanish
Civic Center = Ceviche
Powell = Pow
Montgomery = Monkey
Embarcadero = Hot Potato