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Jun. 7th, 2007 08:26 amFrom the diary of Cpl William Trask, Carpenter's Assistant, Lewis and Clark expedition, October 16th 1805:
Today our party came over a steep bluff, and there the majesty of the Ocean was first plain to all of us. Clark, overcome with a passion which seemed to well from his core, shouted "Oh Joy!" There was not a man among us that was not filled with a sense of wonder and was made well aware of the kindness of gentle providence, and our place among the entire of creation. So moving an experience, that it almost displaced the memory of the unfortunate circumstances of the prior two days from my memory's seat. I say again, almost.
Let it be known, for the sake of future generations, that Sgt Bramhouse was in the habit of pouring the last dregs of the coffeepot, and not properly replenishing it. Last evening I had grown quite tired of this antic, and I wrote for all to see, on a strip of bark with a burnt stick, a note that I thought was not unseemly, and that addressed the situation properly. It said, (As near as I can recollect,)
"To the scalliwags that are fond of depleting the coffee and not renewing it. (You can see that I did not in any way mention Sgt Bramhouse by name at all, thinking it better to remain civil, since such behavior is best if observed by all, but he certainly knew that the remark was directed at him, as we shall soon see,) To said scoundrels, for the benefit of us all, please ensure that you set a new pot a-brewing, or remove the pot entirely, or certainly the heat of the fire shall burn a hole in the empty pot, and we shall be without coffee whatsoever for the remainder of this adventure."
The next morning, I awoke to find the crudest of writings on the bottom of my note, stating, and I shall never forget the words, that "Cpl Trask may suc upon a terd, Iff'n he goes a-wanting for cofee." I know that Bramhouse wrote this, for his grammar and spelling are not that of an educated individual, and I have upon many occasions, been the butt of his vulgar suggestions, so I am well aquainted with his prose style.
Feeling that I have been served quite the ample portion of Bramhouse's abuse, and also feeling that I had more than I could stand in this instance, I placed a lobe of a raw deer's liver in the pocket of his buskins. Of course, this morning at sunrise, a native bear, his will well stoked by hunger, most cruelly savaged Sgt Bramhouse. By the time we were able to dispatch the creature, Bramhouse was quite beyond salvaging, the bear having devoured the greater portion of his entrails. Since what remained of Bramhouse was quite distressed and certainly to be a weight on the morale of all, Sgt Gass mercifully dispatched him with a musketball, and he is at this writing, drinking the bitter dregs of the coffeepots in Perdition.
In any case, the ocean is now finally sighted, so not much more can remain of our expedition. I imagine that we shall camp for the winter and then return to Washington to report, and I am certainly glad of that, but if Lewis continues to disturb my repose by speaking aloud in his sleep, I am not certain of what I shall do.
Today our party came over a steep bluff, and there the majesty of the Ocean was first plain to all of us. Clark, overcome with a passion which seemed to well from his core, shouted "Oh Joy!" There was not a man among us that was not filled with a sense of wonder and was made well aware of the kindness of gentle providence, and our place among the entire of creation. So moving an experience, that it almost displaced the memory of the unfortunate circumstances of the prior two days from my memory's seat. I say again, almost.
Let it be known, for the sake of future generations, that Sgt Bramhouse was in the habit of pouring the last dregs of the coffeepot, and not properly replenishing it. Last evening I had grown quite tired of this antic, and I wrote for all to see, on a strip of bark with a burnt stick, a note that I thought was not unseemly, and that addressed the situation properly. It said, (As near as I can recollect,)
"To the scalliwags that are fond of depleting the coffee and not renewing it. (You can see that I did not in any way mention Sgt Bramhouse by name at all, thinking it better to remain civil, since such behavior is best if observed by all, but he certainly knew that the remark was directed at him, as we shall soon see,) To said scoundrels, for the benefit of us all, please ensure that you set a new pot a-brewing, or remove the pot entirely, or certainly the heat of the fire shall burn a hole in the empty pot, and we shall be without coffee whatsoever for the remainder of this adventure."
The next morning, I awoke to find the crudest of writings on the bottom of my note, stating, and I shall never forget the words, that "Cpl Trask may suc upon a terd, Iff'n he goes a-wanting for cofee." I know that Bramhouse wrote this, for his grammar and spelling are not that of an educated individual, and I have upon many occasions, been the butt of his vulgar suggestions, so I am well aquainted with his prose style.
Feeling that I have been served quite the ample portion of Bramhouse's abuse, and also feeling that I had more than I could stand in this instance, I placed a lobe of a raw deer's liver in the pocket of his buskins. Of course, this morning at sunrise, a native bear, his will well stoked by hunger, most cruelly savaged Sgt Bramhouse. By the time we were able to dispatch the creature, Bramhouse was quite beyond salvaging, the bear having devoured the greater portion of his entrails. Since what remained of Bramhouse was quite distressed and certainly to be a weight on the morale of all, Sgt Gass mercifully dispatched him with a musketball, and he is at this writing, drinking the bitter dregs of the coffeepots in Perdition.
In any case, the ocean is now finally sighted, so not much more can remain of our expedition. I imagine that we shall camp for the winter and then return to Washington to report, and I am certainly glad of that, but if Lewis continues to disturb my repose by speaking aloud in his sleep, I am not certain of what I shall do.
