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Apr. 13th, 2007 06:07 amYesterday afternoon I got a phone call from my future self.* When I asked me what I wanted, I asked myself if I had a copy of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets."
"No." I said, "Why?"
"You might want to go get one at the thrift store or something."
"Why? Don't you have any in the future?"
"We burned them all."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, that last book was a real shocker."
*Apparently Paris Hilton invents time travel in a few years so that she can buy unobtainable vintage Versace. When Hawking asked her how she dealt with the conservation of energy paradigm, she famously replied, "I don't know about conservation. I just buy whatever I need." Investigations by Hawking and others found that time actually is money, and Paris could literally create distortions in the space time continuum simply by performing balance transfers, which would alter the mass of space-time and create artificial wormholes. When several million of her family's secured bonds purchased in the 50's matured, the movement of funds between the two timeframes caused a quantum rift that allowed travel between the two periods. Since the average consumer doesn't have this type of investment vehicle, they are locked out of the physical time travel market, but Cingular has added 1000 minutes of calling time to an epoch of your choice, as long as both timeframes are on the same network.
"No." I said, "Why?"
"You might want to go get one at the thrift store or something."
"Why? Don't you have any in the future?"
"We burned them all."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, that last book was a real shocker."
*Apparently Paris Hilton invents time travel in a few years so that she can buy unobtainable vintage Versace. When Hawking asked her how she dealt with the conservation of energy paradigm, she famously replied, "I don't know about conservation. I just buy whatever I need." Investigations by Hawking and others found that time actually is money, and Paris could literally create distortions in the space time continuum simply by performing balance transfers, which would alter the mass of space-time and create artificial wormholes. When several million of her family's secured bonds purchased in the 50's matured, the movement of funds between the two timeframes caused a quantum rift that allowed travel between the two periods. Since the average consumer doesn't have this type of investment vehicle, they are locked out of the physical time travel market, but Cingular has added 1000 minutes of calling time to an epoch of your choice, as long as both timeframes are on the same network.
