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e. coli unum
Sep. 25th, 2006 10:59 pm< voice type="seinfeld"> What's the deal with e.coli anyway? And how come no one's blaming all the cow sh!t? Some kids somewhere get e. coli, and everyone everywhere presses congress to ban unpasteurized carrot juice and apple juice, to put labelling requirements on fresh spinach. No one asks, "how come no-one's getting all the cow sh!t off my fruits and vegetables?"</voice>
No, let's not pick on the cow sh!t, because you know, it's spinach's fault, for got's sake, somehow, there is this total, utter (no pun intended,) lack of concerned parents pointing at the sheer volume, the mountains and mountains of cow sh!t all over the place, obviously there's cow sh!t on apples, on carrots, on spinach, in milk, plastered on everything, but that's just clouding the issue. Protect us from the spinach! It's so receptive to cow sh!t. It's practically begging for the e.coli.
I know, you're thinking, quit knocking the cow sh!t. It's fertilizer! Hard to farm without that. TRY IT, SEE WHAT YOU GET. NUTHIN. Well, shouldn't we be thinking that perhaps we should do something to it, if you know, it's full of e.coli, and you know, we are going to put it all over everything? I'm just sayin. You wouldn't put it on the baby, right?
Mary: "Don't put that on the baby Babs!"
Babs: "But it's fertilizer! It's full of nitrogen."
(Somehow we've slipped from Seinfeld to Lenny Bruce, but it's going to a warm fuzzy place, a good place, so... let's RUN WITH IT.)
Mary: "It might have, you know, the e.coli in it!"
Babs: "Well Mary, the thought had crossed my mind."
Mary: "Babs, don't you think that's dangerous?"
Babs: "The HELL with that, if the world's going to be full of cow shit, I'm starting my widdle precious early. I'm giving him two tablespoons a day with oatmeal, because the doctor says we need to build up a tolerance. Or else in ten years he'll lose half his widdle colon to an unwashed cesar salad with his name on it."
I'm just saying, seems like wasted effort, to try and get e.coli out of spinach, seems to me that we should focus on getting the e. coli out of the cow shit. Then we can put it on the baby if we want to, just like we used to in the good old days.
No, let's not pick on the cow sh!t, because you know, it's spinach's fault, for got's sake, somehow, there is this total, utter (no pun intended,) lack of concerned parents pointing at the sheer volume, the mountains and mountains of cow sh!t all over the place, obviously there's cow sh!t on apples, on carrots, on spinach, in milk, plastered on everything, but that's just clouding the issue. Protect us from the spinach! It's so receptive to cow sh!t. It's practically begging for the e.coli.
I know, you're thinking, quit knocking the cow sh!t. It's fertilizer! Hard to farm without that. TRY IT, SEE WHAT YOU GET. NUTHIN. Well, shouldn't we be thinking that perhaps we should do something to it, if you know, it's full of e.coli, and you know, we are going to put it all over everything? I'm just sayin. You wouldn't put it on the baby, right?
Mary: "Don't put that on the baby Babs!"
Babs: "But it's fertilizer! It's full of nitrogen."
(Somehow we've slipped from Seinfeld to Lenny Bruce, but it's going to a warm fuzzy place, a good place, so... let's RUN WITH IT.)
Mary: "It might have, you know, the e.coli in it!"
Babs: "Well Mary, the thought had crossed my mind."
Mary: "Babs, don't you think that's dangerous?"
Babs: "The HELL with that, if the world's going to be full of cow shit, I'm starting my widdle precious early. I'm giving him two tablespoons a day with oatmeal, because the doctor says we need to build up a tolerance. Or else in ten years he'll lose half his widdle colon to an unwashed cesar salad with his name on it."
I'm just saying, seems like wasted effort, to try and get e.coli out of spinach, seems to me that we should focus on getting the e. coli out of the cow shit. Then we can put it on the baby if we want to, just like we used to in the good old days.
