Long live the SEXY revolution.
Apr. 12th, 2005 05:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
saint_monkeyInitially, this was going in as a response to a chiller post concerning "what constitutes a sexy boot?" As it got longer and longer, I realize that I should post it here, instead of cluttering her post all up with a giant ra(n)t. I've got my own journal for stuff like that.
My wife wonders about the same thing. Well, not precisely the same thing, but similar. Actually, not all that similar, but in the same ballpark, so to speak. Namely, why are garter belts considered sexy? The gist of it is that she once had a practical garter belt, and she preferred it to normal support hose, which suck. (I can vouch for this. I know that support hose are from hell from personal experience.) Anyhow, my wife's practical garter is long gone, and she can't find any that aren't all hootchie-mama. (Sorry about the term of art, I didn't know how else to put it.) This leads to the question from my frustrated wife, "just what is so sexy about a garter belt?" And then I get this glowering look, because I am a man, and therefore responsible for making garter-belts sexy, as well as bulemia, pornography, NASCAR etc. and I have to answer honestly, "I've no idea," cause I don't. (Have an idea, I mean.)
It's crazy. Sometime I'll write a big rant about it. (How about right now?) Why one thing is sexy while another isn't, seems completely arbitrary. Completely crazy. It's just some program that people plug into the devices of mind-control, which chatter at you for hours and hours. After a bit, against your better judgement, you are thinking completely irrationally. "Capri Pants? Sure. Low-rise jeans? Love 'em." All of it is trash, poorly made, out of fashion in a week, and designed to make you stick out, to look completely and utterly, like a CLOWN. (Seriously, Mystery mistook three guys from our next door neighbor's apartment for a troop of clowns last night. They had floppy shoes, baggy shorts, long baggy t-shirts and floppy oversized multicolored hats. What was REALLY funny about this, is that all of these guys were dressed the same way, which means they got coordinated about it.)
Considering how harmful some of this stuff is to self esteem and general health, we need to find the person who is making the sexy-decisions and make them stop. And when I watch "E!" Television, (which I never, ever, ever do,) I see that more often than not, the people making the sexy decisions are just plain insane. Therefore, I find them irrational, irresponsible, and absolutely unqualified to make the sexy decisions! No more! I am hosting teh revolution! (Which shall be spelled "TEH revolution.") It starts today and woe betide to those that stand in my way. The fashion critics and marketing executives shall be purged of their power and cloistered in convents in Wisconsin.
I'm sure you are wondering. Who then, will make the sexy decisions?
Neuroscientists, that's who. Why? Cause they are smart? Cause they are those most suited to determine the inner workings of the mind? Hell no. There are two reasons. First, Neuroscientists have no time for the real world, so they are innoculated against mass media. But the real reason is the bunny suits. Neuroscientists have to wear bunny suits:
Now I know what you are thinking. Why should bunny suit people decide which things are sexy? Cause everybody looks the same way in bunny suits.
Sexy.
chiller post concerning "what constitutes a sexy boot?" As it got longer and longer, I realize that I should post it here, instead of cluttering her post all up with a giant ra(n)t. I've got my own journal for stuff like that.My wife wonders about the same thing. Well, not precisely the same thing, but similar. Actually, not all that similar, but in the same ballpark, so to speak. Namely, why are garter belts considered sexy? The gist of it is that she once had a practical garter belt, and she preferred it to normal support hose, which suck. (I can vouch for this. I know that support hose are from hell from personal experience.) Anyhow, my wife's practical garter is long gone, and she can't find any that aren't all hootchie-mama. (Sorry about the term of art, I didn't know how else to put it.) This leads to the question from my frustrated wife, "just what is so sexy about a garter belt?" And then I get this glowering look, because I am a man, and therefore responsible for making garter-belts sexy, as well as bulemia, pornography, NASCAR etc. and I have to answer honestly, "I've no idea," cause I don't. (Have an idea, I mean.)
It's crazy. Sometime I'll write a big rant about it. (How about right now?) Why one thing is sexy while another isn't, seems completely arbitrary. Completely crazy. It's just some program that people plug into the devices of mind-control, which chatter at you for hours and hours. After a bit, against your better judgement, you are thinking completely irrationally. "Capri Pants? Sure. Low-rise jeans? Love 'em." All of it is trash, poorly made, out of fashion in a week, and designed to make you stick out, to look completely and utterly, like a CLOWN. (Seriously, Mystery mistook three guys from our next door neighbor's apartment for a troop of clowns last night. They had floppy shoes, baggy shorts, long baggy t-shirts and floppy oversized multicolored hats. What was REALLY funny about this, is that all of these guys were dressed the same way, which means they got coordinated about it.)
Considering how harmful some of this stuff is to self esteem and general health, we need to find the person who is making the sexy-decisions and make them stop. And when I watch "E!" Television, (which I never, ever, ever do,) I see that more often than not, the people making the sexy decisions are just plain insane. Therefore, I find them irrational, irresponsible, and absolutely unqualified to make the sexy decisions! No more! I am hosting teh revolution! (Which shall be spelled "TEH revolution.") It starts today and woe betide to those that stand in my way. The fashion critics and marketing executives shall be purged of their power and cloistered in convents in Wisconsin.
I'm sure you are wondering. Who then, will make the sexy decisions?
Neuroscientists, that's who. Why? Cause they are smart? Cause they are those most suited to determine the inner workings of the mind? Hell no. There are two reasons. First, Neuroscientists have no time for the real world, so they are innoculated against mass media. But the real reason is the bunny suits. Neuroscientists have to wear bunny suits:
Now I know what you are thinking. Why should bunny suit people decide which things are sexy? Cause everybody looks the same way in bunny suits.
Sexy.
