(no subject)
hello, you've reached steffan and mystery... please leave a message after the tone.
*beep
uhh. are you there? pick up. pickuppickuppickup. um. okay, this is god, and um. i like had this problem with my carborator and um, well the long and short of it is that i need a ride to the grocery store. or maybe you could come by if you have some smokes? cause that's all i need. that and a sixpack and some poptarts. anyhow, i guess you are out. i'll manage, talk at ya later.
*beep
(traffic noise)
yeah, hey if you are there, really pick up this time! *sigh* it's me again. i guess i just missed you. look, i'm in a bit of a jam at the safeway up on fifteenth and john, i mean what's up thier ass up here? the restroom was full and it stunk like a mug in there anyhow, and i figured i just whiz in the alley and i think the mutherfuckers called the cops and *oh shit! there they are anyhow
hello, sir, we've had complaints of a transient disturbing the peace around here, would you happen to have some identification?
um, look, i'm like on the phone ok?
you can either cooperate or we will bring you downtown. you need to have some form of ID or we have to bring you in as a transient, unless you can prove residency around here. it's a city ordinance. do you have a receipt for those poptarts?
ordinance? damn sidran! look, why are you hasslin me? is it the robes? not everyone with beards and linen robes is a nutcase, OK? it's an asthetic thing, right? it's like part of my whole IMAGE. i'm just tryin to do my own thing here. i'm totally tired of you athiest pigs coming down on me all the time! and NO, i don't need ID, i'm god, okay? i'm like omnitient or some shit. i'm a resident of EVERYWHERE, okay. you can't have an ID for EVERYWHERE, or at least that's what they told me at the DMV. shit. i wasn't doin nothin and people are always blaming thier shit on me, so cut me some slack. you think i'd walk all the way up here just to steal some crap from safeway? hell, i could miracle a whole truck of fucking poptarts if my back didn't hurt so damn much. (stupid slipped disk.) look i'll show you *arrgh* damn, all i can manage is the SAFEWAY brand. Jesus those suck, but i really CAN miracle poptarts, really. look anyhow, i lost the receipt when the bagboy chased me out of the alley... whups. look, steffan, i'm going to have to go, i just put my foot in it here.
*beep
look, okay, when you get in, could you come down to the capitol hill station on 12th and bail me out? it's not far from the globe, over by where central co-op used to be before they sold out (bastards! can't get any good carrot juice in seattle anymore!) anyhow, it's like $250, and it won't be like last time, i got this check coming for workman's comp in a couple of days, so i can get you back then. or at least call my kid? i think he's somewhere around here... tacoma i think, there is this promisekeeper's gig at the tacoma dome, i think he's the headliner...(aw hell, that's in BOISE this week, he ain't in tacoma till next week. damn ingrate. never calls, not so much as a father's day card from the little prima donna.) c'mon man, if you are there i REALLY need you to pick up! damn. anyhow, when you come by i need to talk about crashing at your place for a couple of weeks while i look for a new pad, cause my landlord says that i have to get out cause of the whole goat thing. anyhow, we can talk about that later. get down here as soon as you hear this, okay? thanks, i like totally owe you one.
*beep
uhh. are you there? pick up. pickuppickuppickup. um. okay, this is god, and um. i like had this problem with my carborator and um, well the long and short of it is that i need a ride to the grocery store. or maybe you could come by if you have some smokes? cause that's all i need. that and a sixpack and some poptarts. anyhow, i guess you are out. i'll manage, talk at ya later.
*beep
(traffic noise)
yeah, hey if you are there, really pick up this time! *sigh* it's me again. i guess i just missed you. look, i'm in a bit of a jam at the safeway up on fifteenth and john, i mean what's up thier ass up here? the restroom was full and it stunk like a mug in there anyhow, and i figured i just whiz in the alley and i think the mutherfuckers called the cops and *oh shit! there they are anyhow
hello, sir, we've had complaints of a transient disturbing the peace around here, would you happen to have some identification?
um, look, i'm like on the phone ok?
you can either cooperate or we will bring you downtown. you need to have some form of ID or we have to bring you in as a transient, unless you can prove residency around here. it's a city ordinance. do you have a receipt for those poptarts?
ordinance? damn sidran! look, why are you hasslin me? is it the robes? not everyone with beards and linen robes is a nutcase, OK? it's an asthetic thing, right? it's like part of my whole IMAGE. i'm just tryin to do my own thing here. i'm totally tired of you athiest pigs coming down on me all the time! and NO, i don't need ID, i'm god, okay? i'm like omnitient or some shit. i'm a resident of EVERYWHERE, okay. you can't have an ID for EVERYWHERE, or at least that's what they told me at the DMV. shit. i wasn't doin nothin and people are always blaming thier shit on me, so cut me some slack. you think i'd walk all the way up here just to steal some crap from safeway? hell, i could miracle a whole truck of fucking poptarts if my back didn't hurt so damn much. (stupid slipped disk.) look i'll show you *arrgh* damn, all i can manage is the SAFEWAY brand. Jesus those suck, but i really CAN miracle poptarts, really. look anyhow, i lost the receipt when the bagboy chased me out of the alley... whups. look, steffan, i'm going to have to go, i just put my foot in it here.
*beep
look, okay, when you get in, could you come down to the capitol hill station on 12th and bail me out? it's not far from the globe, over by where central co-op used to be before they sold out (bastards! can't get any good carrot juice in seattle anymore!) anyhow, it's like $250, and it won't be like last time, i got this check coming for workman's comp in a couple of days, so i can get you back then. or at least call my kid? i think he's somewhere around here... tacoma i think, there is this promisekeeper's gig at the tacoma dome, i think he's the headliner...(aw hell, that's in BOISE this week, he ain't in tacoma till next week. damn ingrate. never calls, not so much as a father's day card from the little prima donna.) c'mon man, if you are there i REALLY need you to pick up! damn. anyhow, when you come by i need to talk about crashing at your place for a couple of weeks while i look for a new pad, cause my landlord says that i have to get out cause of the whole goat thing. anyhow, we can talk about that later. get down here as soon as you hear this, okay? thanks, i like totally owe you one.